When the Sun met Pollution

Many clouds were present on the sky, all with dark colors, filled with promises of a storm. They both sat on the middle of the huge green field, nothing around them as far as the eyes could see. Both of them were dressed as butlers, but more elegant and proud.

- You know Winston, I do believe these cigars to be be Cuban.

- Cuban? How can you tell, my dear Andrew?

- It’s the smell.

- I can’t smell it. The winds blows my face.

- Maybe if you’d sit facing me?

- I could not do that.

- Why not?

- Cause I would see your true face.

- Ahh, but my voice does not make you trust me?

- Voices are like songs. Nobody really knows what they tell.

- True enough.

- What are your plans?

- I will wait here for the storm to come.

- There won’t be any storms, Andrew.

- As soon as I shoot you in the back, the sky will start crying.

- The sky indeed loves me.

- You bring warmth and light. Sure it will.

- You know what my people asked me the other day?

- No. Do tell.

- They asked me “How can you expect us to believe in the sun, when you’re keeping us in darkness?”

- And what did you tell them?

- I told them, that it is you who is keeping me back.

- How rude. Haven’t I got a lot of problems with those ECO fighters?

- You’re smoke. You can disappear.

- I can’t. I’m too dense, you see.

- You carry too much hate.

- I was created by the humans who want to live in a world controlled by all these machines.

- Luxury needs sacrifices.

- Thus you can’t expect me to just sit and be.

- If you destroy me, then you will destroy they. Eventually.

- What do you mean, eventually?

- Let’s say you’re going to kill me here and now. They will find a way to resurrect me.

- With machines. That means they will make me grew stronger.

- But they will break you fro a time.

- Haha.

- Why don’t you allow me to leave right now, I could ask for help, and bury you and your sorrow forever.

- Are you planning to ask the help of Edward?

- Indeed.

- I killed him.

- You tried. Look around, there is still vegetation.

- Details, my dear Winston.

- Life manages to keep up with you.

- Sadly, yes.

- Now, time for the night has come.

- And yet you still live.

- Let us try this again in the morrow.

- Yes, good idea, indeed.

Talk Amongst Yourselves – The Hacker (Introducing Igor)

Edd: Rumor has it our writer is about to return.

Sephi: Like a Jedi?

Vlad: How funny. I mean whoever would predict that joke right now.

Sephi: I’m always prepared.

Vlad: You are, no doubt.

Edd: Remember that time at the bus station?

Sephi: Be more precise, we go there every day you idiot.

Edd: When the rain came.

Sephi: Ohh yea, I remember that.

Vlad: Ohh dear.

Edd: You were not prepared.

Sephi: For the rain?

Vlad: Rain it’s not predictable, Edd.

Edd: No, he didn’t have an umbrella.

Vlad: Ela ela.

Sephi: Under my umbrella.

Vlad: E e e!

Edd: What? Stop it, what are you doing?

Sephi: You had my heart!

Vlad: And we’ll never be world apart!

Spehi: Maybe in magazines…

Vlad: Buy you’ll still be my star!

Sephi:

Vlad: Haha.

Edd: You just wrote the lyrics of Rihanna’s Umbrella song?

Sephi: We did.

Vlad: We… did.

Edd: Why do you know the lyrics by heart?

Sephi: Err. Ohh dear, he’s right!

Vlad: My fingers! How could my fingers….

Sephi: I am possessed!

Vlad: The force of evil took control of me!

Edd: You two are mad!

Sephi: You need to be strong! Think about how strong you are! Find your weak spot… and beat it!

Edd: Beat it?

Vlad: No one wants to be defeated!

Sephi: Showin’ how funky and strong is your fight!

Edd: Dammit I had it with you two idiot!

Edd left the chat room.

Sephi: He left.

Vlad: We did it.

Sephi: We are the champions… my friend.

Vlad: And we’ll keep on fighting… till the end.

Sephi: We are the champions!

Vlad: We are the champions!

Sephi: No time for losers!

Vlad: ‘Cause we are the champions…

Igor: Of the world.

Sephi: What?

Vlad: Who is this?

Igor: Is this chat for new people?

Sephi: How did you get in?

Vlad: Yeah, this chat room is protected by a password!

Igor: Igor is a hacker. It was not hard to brake password.

Sephi: I doubt that, my passwords are really hard to break.

Igor: I like name of your mother.

Sephi: Fuck.

Vlad: You used your mother’s name to set your password?

Sephi: Yes, you have a problem with my mom?

Vlad: No.

Igor: You and you are funny. Igor laughs.

Sephi: I’m going to kick this man.

Vlad: You do that!

Sephi: I can’t.

Vlad: What? Why?

Sephi: He hacked in.

Igor: Just temporary.

Vlad: What do you want from us?

Igor: Honey coated roasted peanuts.

Vlad: What?

Sephi: Go to the store and buy.

Igor: What store?

Sephi: Ask Edd, his girlfriend is working there.

Vlad: Yeah, too bad Edd is not here right now.

Igor: Not a problem.

Edd has joined the chat room.

Edd: What the fuck?

Sephi: He?

Edd: The chat program just executed itself and  joined the chat room.

Vlad: What?

Edd: What’s going on here?

Igor: Edd. I am Igor.

Edd: Nice to meet you, are you Russian?

Igor: Da.

Edd: Da?

Vlad: It means yes.

Edd: Da means yes in Russian?

Sephi: Da.

Edd: Nice, I can speak Russian now.

Sephi: Igor wants to ask you to call Susan and ask her if they sell roasted peanuts at the store.

Igor: HONEY ROASTED!

Sephi: Beg pardon. Honey roasted peanuts.

Edd: Can’t he call, why bother me? Err…

Sephi: What?

Edd: My credit card just got canceled.

Vlad: I would make that call, like super now.

Edd: I’m on it.

Igor: Good.

Sephi: Say Igor?

Igor: Da?

Sephi: Can you delete the porn off Vlad’s computer?

Vlad: Very funny. Don’t bother, I don’t have any.

Igor: I can. There are many directories.

Vlad: EHH.

Edd: Igor, Susan said they got roasted peanuts!

Sephi: Honey roasted?!

Edd: Yes.

Igor: I thank you.

Igor left the chat room.

Sephi: Ohh my dear lord!

Vlad: What the hell was that?

Edd: Who is this guy?

Sephi: He claims to be hacker!

Vlad: Quick! Buy a new server!

Sephi: Quick! Give me money!

Vlad: Point taken.

Edd: We need to investigate this!

Sephi: To the Batmobile!

Edd: I’m so grateful you can keep up your good mood in such times of peril.

Sephi: Do you want me to panic?

Edd: Panic? Because of a hacker? Don’t make me laugh.

Vlad: WHERE ARE MY MOVIES?

Sephi:

Edd:

For those who just arrived…

Dear Reader,

As you can see, I only update my blog occasionally, but be sure to check the box on the right to find out more about my blog.

Thank you!

Sunflower Valley – The washing machine

Man in suit rings at door. Man in robes opens the door after one minute or so.

- Yes, hi?

- Hello sir, my name is Charlie and I would like to talk to you about our great offer.

- What company?

- Sorry?

- What company you work for lad?

- Gulvin and Thomson.

- The one that makes them washing machines?

- Well no, but really close.

- Close to washing machines?

- The name, sir. The name.

- Right, so how may I help?

- Well I just started to say that we have this great deal.

- Bout washing machines? I got them. Two even.

- I see, but…

- One for my cousin, she lives here sometimes, doesn’t like clothes to mix in, if you know what I mean.

- I see.

- And the other one is for Clara.

- Clare being…

- My wife.

- Yes, lovely, but…

- They wash a lot.

- I’m not here because of the washing machine.

- You’re not?

- No, see I got this deal about…

- Why you tell me you’re from Thomson if you’re not seeling them washing machines?

- Sir, I’m not even sure Thomson sells washing machines.

- Really bad training your got at your company.

- No sir, you see…

- I mean when I was actually working, they trained us well.

- Right but..

- I was conducting a locomotive.

- Amazing, but…

- It was a hard job, just sitting and stopping, and then starting the old metal.

- If you would allow me to tell you…

- Sometimes we pulled it with no real reason.

- Pulled it?

- Yes, the blow.

- Blow?

- That thing that gives out sound when the train comes.

- Yes?

- What, you’ve never been near a train station?

- I was but…

- So you must have heard it.

- I’m sure sir, but if you would allow me to finish one sentence so I could tell you about the deal then…

- Listen here, I just had me coffee in the morning, can’t open my eyes without, and you’re keeping me here.

- But…

- I got no time for you now, come back later.

- But sir!

The man in the robe slammed the door. The man in the suit was disappointed.

A new husband – Part 1

Philippe decided that this day will be a good one. He was standing at the window, watching the pedestrians move around. He hated to walk, and hated to drive, so that’s why he hired that driver. Single problem was; his father hated him because of that. But he had the money so why worry?

Getting tired of standing, he moved back to his desk, sat down and pressed the big red button on the small terminal.

- Miss. Presley?

A really thin voice cracked through the small speaker.

- Yes?

- Miss Presley, can you send in the next one?

- Certainly, sir.

He let go of the button and shaped his face to look serious. With a quick move he pushed his glasses up and focused on the door.

With a gentle move, the door was opened. A lady, taller than expected walked inside the room. In her hand, under a black scarf, there was something moving.

- Mrs…

- Kamar.

- Mrs Kamar, thank you for coming. Please call me Mr. Doctor.

She found the sofa and sat down.

- Every time?

- Excuse me?

- Every time I talk to you I should use the Mr. Doctor?

- Doctor then.

She put down her little package and with a fast move she lit a cigarette.

He panicked.

- No no, you can’t do that in here!

- For the fee that I am paying, I expect to do anything I want.

He sat back in his chair and lifted a small handkerchief.

- What is that black thing?

- Mr. Puffles.

- What?

She slowly removed the black scarf and there was a cat under it. A bald cat.

- That’s a rat? You carry that around?

- It’s not a  rat, “Doctor”. It’s a cat. A Peterbald.

- It’s called Peter?

- No. It’s the name of the breed.

Philippe was more than angry, but he was not allowed to show that.

- Mrs Kamar, I cannot work while that cat is looking at me.

- You just need to listen anyway.

- Ohh dear.

She reached for the necklace, opened the little vial that was attached to the chain around her neck and gave the cat some kind a fluid to drink.

- Can we begin?

- Certainly! How can I help?

- I need a new husband.

- My lady, I think you’re in the wrong place. With a request as such, we usually go to….

- No. I don’t want you to kill my current one. I just need you to get me a new husband who I can travel to Peru with.

- Peru?

- Walter, my current husband has this skin disease and he cannot come to Peru.

- I see.

- So I need a husband.

- Mrs Kamar, I’m sure Mr. Kamar would not like that.

- It’s Walter. And he was the one who sent me here.

- To me?

- Yes, he told me how you helped Madame Zeeman.

- But that is absurd! Madame Zeeman has mental problems, she didn’t want a new husband!

- Well maybe this little envelope holds the key to that locked door.

- I cannot be bribed!

- Two thousand.

His eyes went crazy. Dreams of richness filled his mind. He felt the urge to bow.

- Let me see what I can do.

She smiled.

- Uhm, Miss Presley?

- Yes?

- Can you please connect me to Steven Brownie?

- Most certainly.

Lady Kamar bolted toward the desk.

- You seriously want me to merry a man named Brownie?

- He is a most pleasant young man!

- But he is named Brownie!

- You don’t need to take up his name.

- I don’t like it.

She sat back on the sofa. She looked down than back to Philippe.

- Where is my cat?

The man looked around alarmed but the cat was nowhere to be seen.

- I don’t…

- Where. Is. My. CAT?

 

To be continued.

Poncho and Pod

Hi guys,

There’s a new blog and FaceBook page with my new story that’s about two cockroaches talking about post-apocalyptic events. Please LIKE

BLOG:  http://www.greybooks.de/pnpblog/

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Five dollars

- I’m sorry, are these the campus public showers?

- Yes.

- I would like to take a shower.

- Yes, five dollars.

- What? Five dollars for a shower?

- Yes.

- But that is way to expensive.

- Yes.

- I mean I paid for the room, would you not give me an discount?

- Yes.

- Really? How much then?

- Five dollars.

- I got an idea.

- Ok?

- I will shower really fast and be out of here in no time! So I won’t keep the shower busy.

- No time limit.

- So what, if I pay you…

- Five dollars.

- Yes, five dollars. If I pay you five dollars I can spend all day long in the showers?

- Yes.

- What about the people from around here?

- They pay. No talking for hours.

- I just think the price is too high.

- Ok.

- What if I want to bring along my girlfriend? Is the price different?

- Yes.

- How much?

- Five dollars.

- For two people?

- Yes.

- But that does not makes sense!

- I no sell sense. I sell shower. Time.

- Do you provide any bathing accessories?

- No bath. Shower.

- I mean shower accessories.

- Yes. Towel and soap.

- And can I keep the  towel and the soup afterwards?

- Yes.

- So for five dollars you will give me infinite time in the showers, a towel and a soap.

- I do not understand. What you mean infinite?

- All day long.

- Ok?

- If I am to pay you five dollars for a damned shower then I sure be staying all day inside just sitting there with the faucet turned on.

- You can stay ten minutes.

- But you told me no time limit.

- Yes. For ten minutes. No limit.

- This is outrage!

- No. Showers. Outrage at bar.

- All right, here is your five dollars.

- Thank you.

- Now what?

- You go and shower.

- Where is the towel and the soap you provide for free?

- Five dollars.

Cullville – Tea Time (Short – Kenz)

He was trying to get free, but the rope was the hard kind. Moving his jay, he somehow managed to spit that apple, and now he tried to yell. But there was nobody to hear his cry for help. He looked around, moving hid head slowly, cause his neck had an ache.

- Where am I? Hello?! Can anyone here me? Maybe…?

He looked down. All his clothes were wet and dirty, his shoes nowhere, barefoot. The wood that he was tied to seemed to be a strong and thick one.

- Hey! I need help! What… who would do this to me? And why?

A horse appeared from behind a tree.

- Hey! Horse! Come here! Dammit!

The four legged pride-bag looked at the man, interest fading in the next second, and carried on with the hunt for grass.

- Damn animal! Where do they keep them? On the fields? Hey! I got sugar cubes! You hear?

A voice from behind.

- He does not know what sugar is.

He turned around, his heart on the wild run.

- What?

- The horse.

- Ok?

- Doesn’t likes sugar.

- I was obviously trying to trick that horse! Why on earth would I carry sugar around?

- A man can never know when the opportunity to drink a nice cup of tea may occur.

- Tea?

- Yes. Would you some?

Before the man could spoke, the strange fellow – who by the way looked like a fat dwarf, wearing a huge black and white topper, red scarf and was sitting on a half of wheelchair – took out a small but tall table, then from his pocket a set of tea. Boiling, that is.

- The only problem is, that I don’t have sugar.

- What? Sir! Release me this instant!

- I don’t see why act like this.

- I’m tied to this stump!

- Listen, whoever did that to you must had a good reason to do so, yes?

- You’re kidding.

- No, I’m just careful.

- I’m harmless!

- What about that tattoo on your lower arm?

He pulled his hand and looked at his hand only to find a tattoo representing a strange symbol.

- I don’t… I mean I don’t know how this got in my hand!

- Sure. Them tattoos just pop up from plain air, into your skin.

- Listen, I swear I…

- Let me just stop you there. And listen.

The strange old dwarf-like man poured some tea into two cups.

- You are in the mire-wood. That means you killed somebody.

- Me?!

- Yes.

- I would never!

- I hard it hard to believe that you lost your memories!

- I don’t even know who I am!

- I just told you! You’re a killer!

- I can’t…

- Now shut up and have your tea!

He was completely confused.

- What’s you name?

- I just told you, I don’t know!

- Let’s call you Kenz.

- Kenz? What name is that?

- A name that will do for now.

Kenz nodded, he kinda liked that name.

- What is your name, then?

- I’m… call me Philan.

- Philan!? Please, cut the rope!

- I can’t do that until you live.

- What do you mean “until you live”?

- You need to die, so you can live.

- What?

- I rather you take this situation seriously.

- But you’re offering me tea!

- So?

- If you want me to die… ohh…. you want to poison me…!

Philan’s face turned red.

- I would never!

- Then why offer!?

- I’m trying to be polite here!

- Why!? Who asked you to do that?

- Fine, then let’s be done with this.

- Done? Done with what?

- Stand still.

Philan reached into his magic pocked and pulled out a really long pistol.

- Now, the question is, do you want your tea first?

- What do you mean? Is that a gun? What is going on here?

- I’m here to execute your sentence.

- My what?

- We are not told what the crime was. We are only to execute.

- You mean you’re going…

He pointed the gun toward his head.

- Any last words?

- Wait! I’m innoce….

BANG.

The morning after the end

- Take a look and tell me what do you see.

- Ash.

- Well, don’t look at the ash.

- It’s ash I see. Everything is covered in ash.

- What do you expect? It was an apocalypse after all.

- Yeah. They always said; Cockroaches can survive anything, even an apocalypse!

- They said it.

- Yes, they did.

- At least humankind was right about one thing.

- Bless their souls.

- You know, the single problem right now is, that we don’t have anything to crawl about.

- I see what you  mean.

- Yes? We survived the end of the world, but what now?

- I don’t know. We should look for something to eat maybe.

- Like what, ash?

- Ash is made of something that burned.

- So?

- That something was maybe edible.

- Or a furniture.

- Maybe.

- Or a human being.

- What, since when did you become this choosy?

- I refuse to eat human flesh!

- You will starve.

- I don’t care! I survived an damned apocalypse dammit! I can survive hunger!

- Brave words.

- Let’s just walk and see if we can find anybody.

- You know, it’s weird.

- You mean the end of the world? Sure it is.

- No no! I mean, this happened a while ago, and we still didn’t meet any of our kind.

- They must be hiding.

- From what?

- They might got scared.

- Scared? Did you get scared?

- Not at all, I was sleeping. Then it was the bang and the bam.

- And?

- And I’m wasting my time talking to you!

- All right, all right, let’s go.

- After you, my lord.

- Ohh, thank you! You’re most kind.

- Yes indeed!

- Yes, indeed.

Hotel Park – Rubber and Pigeons

Samuel: Picard?

Picard: Yes, sir?

Samuel: What are your thoughts regarding pigeons?

Picard: Well… they are birds.

Samuel: Would you ever eat a pigeon?

Picard: What makes you think I would, sir?

Samuel: Well, you look like a well fed person.

Picard: And that makes you, sir, believe that I’m eating pigeons?

Samuel: There are some really fat pigeons out there. And they are easy to cook.

Picard: Did you ever try pigeon meet?

Samuel: Don’t be ridiculous, Picard, I would never eat something like that.

Picard: You told me that you were offered to eat boiled snails.

Samuel: It’s not the same thing.

Picard: I well aware of that.

Samuel: How do you catch a pigeon?

Picard: I don’t.

Samuel: Well let’s say you do need to catch one. How would you do it?

Picard: Erm. Well I would use some bread as bait, I guess.

Samuel: Bread? Why don’t you get a gun and shoot down the beast?

Picard: I’m not allowed to have a gun.

Samuel: You are a doorman, don’t you people get guns with the uniform?

Picard: No sir.

Samuel Outrage! How would you defend yourself if, let’s say, a burglar attempts to enter our building?

Picard: Well, we have these rubber sticks.

Samuel: Good lord! Rubber?

Picard: They can be very efficient, sir.

Samuel: Doesn’t cops use rubber sticks?

Picard: They do.

Samuel: So what, you are on the same level?

Picard: Maybe.

Samuel: So you do have cuffs?

Picard: No sir. I don’t.

Samuel: This is most confusing.

Picard: I’m sorry, sir.

Samuel: I guess you could use the rubber stick to hunt down pigeons. With a good throw, that is.

Picard: I don’t know, sir, I never tried to throw my rubber stick at a pigeon.

Samuel: Are you not confident in your aiming skills, Picard?

Picard: I fear that I might miss and brake a window or hurt a pedestrian.

Samuel: That’s not good, indeed.

Picard: No. But sir, I beg your forgiveness, but I must go and clean my rooftop.

Samuel: Very well! Au revoir!

Picard: Have a good say, sir.